We need to get out of our own way

We need to get out of our own way (also the title of a book by Mark Goulston)

Randy Haveson, of randy@randyspeaks.com, recently said that there are 3 words in the English language that get in our way: Can't / Should / Try. These words cause us to "get in our own way".

Can’t, as in "I can't quit smoking" or "I can't lose these 5 pounds." Personal experience in this arena with a mother who smoked, said she couldn’t quit over 40 years, and then did quit "cold turkey" when told she had lung cancer and my father had a private conversation with her. Suddenly, she stopped. For her own reasons, stopping became a priority. And she went into remission within two years. Her experience taught me that one can make priorities and, if a priority, can accomplish Herculean feats. And, if it’s not a priority, don’t feel guilty ... and don’t say "can’t".

Should – as in "I should be better, I should do more." Should only makes us feel guilty. Getting rid of this word and living one’s life with authenticity ... being what one is will go a long way to living without guilt.

Try – as in "I'm trying to do my job better." Many people have said that "... there is no such thing as trying..." There is either doing or not doing. In the film, Apollo 13, the NASA director said: "Failure is not an option!" He didn’t say "... we’ll try to bring the astronauts back ..." He said we’ll do or not, and not is not an option.

Published On: 
10/01/2002

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October 2002